With the much anticipated launch of the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train Roller Coaster this week at Walt Disney World Resort, it occurred to us that the new ride sums up the world of contracting.
Ok, so you might not be height-challenged, but you are overlooked. As vital contributors to the current unemployment statistics and identified as key economic drivers in the UK, many contractors still battle to access their own finance, be it in the form of a mortgage or a higher purchase.
And you work like miners – always looking for the payload, the rich vein of contracts, working in the dark and sometimes in terrible conditions. Well, working over Christmas and other public holidays is a strain akin to descending into a mine shaft for some. That contracting is a roller coaster ride cannot be denied; unbelievable highs descend into the low of worry and anxiety about where the next contract is coming from, all while having to manage taxing things (like tax).
However, why the new Florida-based theme park ride is so synonymous with contracting is mostly because of the personalities involved. We think that when it comes to: “Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work we go,” the seven dwarfs sum up contractors’ profiles. Let’s start with Doc.
Doc – the perfect contractor
Doc is the perfect contractor. Their surgical precision means that they work with the best umbrella company or are lethally organised freelancers. They put the small print of any offer under the microscope and know when margins are being supplemented by dodgy companies using travel and subsistence (T&S) dispensation or other unhealthy scams that involve minimum wage. These guys can diagnose where and when the next big contract is coming from and although their bedside manner might need work, this is only because they don’t suffer fools lightly and they know what they want.
Grumpy – the seasoned contractor
Then there’s Grumpy. This seasoned contractor that has weathered all of HMRC’s storms; IR35, CIS and AWR, Grumpy has seen them all, learning the acronymic language of legislation as they go. But Grumpy is finding tackling the digital world a little more stressful, and it shows. With a tendency to talk in terms of the ‘good old days’ Grumpy makes short shrift of all this ‘online’ stuff, either acknowledging it under verbal duress or ignoring it altogether. Grumpy spends much time on the phone with his account managers at umbrella companies, likes to receive everything in the post and even texting can represent a major step change for these dyed-in-the-wool veterans.
Sneezy – the allergic contractor
Sneezy has an allergy to each (and every) project; whether by chance or deliberate, this contractor is a stickler for the ‘right kind of contract’ and could not be considered a recruitment agency’s best friend. They may be highly-skilled or just Olympic-class ditherers, yet when a project is lined up for them that seems to be a match made in heaven, they turn it down, and they have a host of excuses. The hourly rate is too low, it’s too far away, it’s too short a contract – the list goes on. It happens; some people are averse to [hard] work.
Happy – the trusting contractor
Happy can be as difficult to deal with as Sneezy. Being happy leads to complacency, which leads to a reluctance to push hard for higher rates, longer projects or working with the dream employer. Happy takes it as it comes and as a result will also settle for contracting companies that are less than compliant and, let’s face it, unprofessional. But Happy doesn’t worry about the detail because he’s such a trusting kind of contractor. Which is a bit like Dopey, but Dopey really does get taken advantage of.
Dopey – the, well, dopey contractor
T&S dispensation schemes, minimum wage shenanigans and zero-hours contracts are designed with Dopey in mind. A self-afflicted condition, most contractors can avoid the Dopey label by doing a bit of research and when in doubt ask. There are any number of great resources out there, including ourselves, which will happily guide novice contractors on the best route into the market as well as around the industry pitfalls. A word of caution to all the dopey contractors out there: if it looks too good to be true, it isn’t.
Bashful – the shy contractor
Bashful is the personal branding nightmare, hiding their light under a bushel. Seldom has a decent CV, hates to talk about past experience and expertise is just not part of their vocabulary. It also has to be said that while this makes proactive job hunting hard work for recruitment agencies, it’s the ‘other’ Bashful that can be more of a handful, perhaps sly would be a better word than shy for them, as they’re the people that get their name from being less than forthcoming when it comes to paying the correct contribution to HMRC!
Sleepy – the unknowledgeable contractor
And finally there’s Sleepy. These contractors work best within an umbrella framework, as bashful types do, because their somnolence only appears around topics such as legislation, PAYE, self-assessment or other paperwork hassles. Sleepy types are wide awake when they’re doing what they do best within their industry, but it’s administration hassle that sends them into a stupor.
Contracting is becoming more and more popular and those seeking access to the necessary level of professional support need not find a magic mirror for the answer, as it can be found from many organisations, Exchequer Solutions included. So perhaps it is time for contractors to stop being grumpy, sneezy, happy, dopey bashful or sleepy (or even more than one) and take a leaf out of Doc’s book to become the perfect contractor.
